Doing it anyway.
Why is training feeling like such a drag lately? Why do I never have motivation these days? Is it the weather? Am I getting sick? I was so much more excited last training block…what happened?
These are all questions that have been swimming around my head lately as I’m six weeks out from my next race. At this point in a training block, I’m normally at my most enthusiastic: mileage still hasn’t peaked, my body hasn’t hit the wall of fatigue, and all I can think about is getting to race day. However this time around, I find myself treating my runs like an errand on a checklist, the same way I’d treat doing my laundry or going grocery shopping. Once I get myself to get up and run, I feel mentally checked out and find it hard to connect my mind and body in a meaningful way. Most times, this connection is immediate and inherent. Running feels like instinct to me, like second-nature. Lately it’s been feeling like I’m running against a current with a weighted vest on. With every step, I’m heavier and heavier instead of lighter and faster. What is wrong with me?
The reality is nothing is wrong and this is totally normal. Even the most elite athletes have seasons of burnout, and that is okay. Sometimes the first step in getting over it is acknowledging it. So that’s what I’ve been doing for the past couple of weeks. I’ve freed myself from the expectation that training is always going to be fun. Sometimes it sucks. When the temperature is below freezing outside and the gusts of wind are over 20 miles per hour, the last thing I want to do is go for a long run that I know is going to be a battle the entire time. I remind myself that sometimes it’s okay to hate your run for that day and it’s okay if you don’t enjoy it. It doesn’t make you a bad runner or a bad athlete. If anything, doing it anyway just makes you a consistent one.
You might be asking why put yourself through it if you know it’s going to be quite unenjoyable. And this is where I’ve had to dig a little deeper to come to a meaningful answer that’s not solely rooted in pride. I start by asking myself: Why do you like to run? Anytime someone asks me this, there are two answers: a physical reason and a mental reason. The former is because I thoroughly enjoy pushing myself physically - the burning in my lungs when I’m pushing to my maximum effort, the buzzing in my legs when it’s already been 10 miles and I still have more to go. For me, there’s something addictive about it. While those are all reasons enough to love running, there’s more to it than that.
The deeper reason I like to run is because of what it’s instilled in me. Running has forged new pathways in my brain, increasing my capacity for resilience, bravery, and drive. If I’m honest with myself, these changes did not come because of the days when it feels exciting to go out and run. They instead have come when it’s just me out there in the pouring rain, or freezing temperatures, or extreme heat. When every single cell in my body is screaming in discomfort, when the little voice in my head is telling my I can stop if I want, when the wind is against me, when the rain is soaking my clothes, when my face is going numb from the cold, or when I simply just don’t feel like it, but I push away the temptation to quit…those are the days that count the most. Those are the days that add up to not just make me a better runner, but to make me a relentless person - out in the road or in my daily life.
And this is not to say to be reckless. There are definitely times when it’s better to skip a run - injury, illness, unsafe conditions, etc. But I’m not talking about this. I’m taking about when your brain is trying to trick you into taking the ‘easy’ route. Everybody experiences doubt and a lack of motivation, but what sets the good apart from the great is who decides to do it anyway.
So if you’ve been feeling like this too, I am right there with you. And I encourage you to take stock of your “why”. You’ll probably, like me, find a deeper reason to push through and a reason to get out there and do it anyway.
Podcast recommendation - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eq4Off8FwA&pp=ygUPVGhlIHRyb3BoeSByb29t
In this podcast episode, WNBA greats Candace Parker and Kahleah Copper touch on this topic as well and is definitely worth the watch/listen!
